everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
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