you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize