i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
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