"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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