Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
