I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
