What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
