I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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