I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize