stop calling my apartment porn island.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
