I want to have your abortion
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Randomize
