Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Damn victory sex feels great
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Randomize
