I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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