Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Can you bring me the toilet please
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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