How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
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The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize