I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Michael Bay diarrhea
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
