honey bunches of taint.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
