Betty ford says i'm here all night
He uses pillows to masturbate.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
My penis needs a shock collar
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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