Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Princesses don't give blow jobs
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
