she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
