She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
If I die, sorry about rent.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
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