just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
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