U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
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