look no pants
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
it was like eating out sand paper
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I'm too high and old for this...
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
