Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Randomize
