I think my vagina is haunted
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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