dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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