He is an equal opportunity slut.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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