it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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