Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
