I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
