one might say we're banned from that church
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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