you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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