Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
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