that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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