i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
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