Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Randomize