I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
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