had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
