you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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