I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
