its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Randomize
