She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Randomize
