I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
