My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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