During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
