He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
