Are we in a gay sports bar?
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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