So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
The adults are the big ones right?
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Randomize