2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
