Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I can text with my tongue
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
