Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
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We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
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After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
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