My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
