i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
