I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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