I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
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