they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
