Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
