final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
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