We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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