if i died would you start the facebook group?
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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