now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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