And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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