So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
