C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
